Thursday, November 24, 2005
No offense to consultants.
But I found the following logoff hilarious.
After having spent years toiling as a consultant I have come to realize that life is somewhat similar to another professional we all probably know of. I present my view below and would appreciate your candid input, since most of us are, have been or will be in the same boat.
1. We work very odd hours.
2. We are paid a lot of money to keep our client happy.
3. We are paid well but our pimp gets most of the money.
4. We spend a majority of our time in a hotel room.
5. We charge by the hour but our time can be extended.
6. We are not proud of what we do.
7. Creating fantasies for our clients is rewarded.
8. It's difficult to have a family.
9. We have no job satisfaction.
10. If a client beats us up, the pimp just sends us to another client.
11. We are embarrassed to tell people what we do for a living.
12. People ask us, "What do you do?" and we can't explain it.
13. Our client pays for our hotel room plus our hourly rate.
14. Our client always wants to know how much we charge and what they get for the money. 15. Our pimp drives nice cars like Mercedes or Jaguars.
16. We know the pimp is charging more than we are worth but if the client is foolish enough to pay it's not our problem.
17. When we leave to go see a client, we look great, but return looking like hell (compare our appearance on Monday AM to Friday PM).
18. We are rated on our "performance" in an excruciating ordeal.
19. Even though we might get paid the big bucks, it's the client who walks away smiling.
20. The client always thinks our "cut" of our billing rate is higher than it actually is, and in turn, expects miracles from us.
21. When we deduct our "take" from our billing rate, we constantly wonder if we could get a better deal with another pimp.
And now let me log off since I forgot to do that in the first place. Sorry for the mass but I hope to hear from you.
But I found the following logoff hilarious.
After having spent years toiling as a consultant I have come to realize that life is somewhat similar to another professional we all probably know of. I present my view below and would appreciate your candid input, since most of us are, have been or will be in the same boat.
1. We work very odd hours.
2. We are paid a lot of money to keep our client happy.
3. We are paid well but our pimp gets most of the money.
4. We spend a majority of our time in a hotel room.
5. We charge by the hour but our time can be extended.
6. We are not proud of what we do.
7. Creating fantasies for our clients is rewarded.
8. It's difficult to have a family.
9. We have no job satisfaction.
10. If a client beats us up, the pimp just sends us to another client.
11. We are embarrassed to tell people what we do for a living.
12. People ask us, "What do you do?" and we can't explain it.
13. Our client pays for our hotel room plus our hourly rate.
14. Our client always wants to know how much we charge and what they get for the money. 15. Our pimp drives nice cars like Mercedes or Jaguars.
16. We know the pimp is charging more than we are worth but if the client is foolish enough to pay it's not our problem.
17. When we leave to go see a client, we look great, but return looking like hell (compare our appearance on Monday AM to Friday PM).
18. We are rated on our "performance" in an excruciating ordeal.
19. Even though we might get paid the big bucks, it's the client who walks away smiling.
20. The client always thinks our "cut" of our billing rate is higher than it actually is, and in turn, expects miracles from us.
21. When we deduct our "take" from our billing rate, we constantly wonder if we could get a better deal with another pimp.
And now let me log off since I forgot to do that in the first place. Sorry for the mass but I hope to hear from you.
